Four Days of Silence, and the Clarity I Didn’t Know I Needed

A few days ago, I returned from a three-night silent retreat at a Buddhist centre. It’s difficult to put the experience into words because so much of what happened wasn’t about what was said, but about what was finally quiet enough to be heard.

In our everyday lives, there’s always something demanding our attention. Conversations, notifications, responsibilities, plans, other people’s needs. We become so used to the noise that we rarely notice just how much space it occupies.

Stepping away from all of that and into silence was incredibly powerful.

For four days, I had the opportunity to simply be with myself. To notice where my mind naturally wandered. To observe my thoughts without needing to fix them or distract myself from them. At times it was uncomfortable. At times it was peaceful. But above all, it was revealing.

One of the biggest gifts the retreat gave me was clarity.

Before I went away, I had already decided that I would be taking a break from my regular classes over the summer, and returning in the week commencing 7th September.

But if I’m completely honest, the people-pleaser in me had already started negotiating with that decision.

“I’ll still run a few workshops.”

“I’ll carry on coaching.”

“I’ll just keep a few things ticking over.”

Sitting in silence made me realise that although those ideas came from a good place, they weren’t coming from the place I most needed to listen to.

When I really tuned in, I knew that what my body, mind and soul needed wasn’t a partial break.

They needed a real one.

That realisation wasn’t as easy as it sounds.

My coaching business is growing beautifully, and I’m incredibly grateful for that. I have wonderful clients, and there were people ready to begin new coaching programmes over the summer. Saying, “Let’s start in September instead,” felt brave. Part of me worried about pressing pause when things are going so well.

But another part of me—the quieter, wiser part—knew that the work will still be there.

The intention is still there.

September will come.

Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is rest.

Another unexpected layer of clarity came around something I’ve wrestled with for a long time: social media.

As someone who runs a business, there’s this constant narrative that you have to keep showing up, keep posting, keep advertising, keep reminding people that you’re there. And if I’m honest, I’ve spent a lot of time questioning whether that’s really how I want to work.

During the retreat, that question became even louder.

Do I actually need to be on Facebook as much as I am? Am I posting because it genuinely feels aligned, or because somewhere along the way I’ve absorbed the belief that this is what a successful business owner should do?

There’s a real pull in me to be on social media less. Maybe even to step away from it altogether. To become the kind of teacher whose work grows through genuine connection, word of mouth and the experience people have when they’re in the room, rather than through a constant online presence.

I don’t have all the answers yet, and I’m not making any sudden decisions, but I can honestly say that facing this has been surprisingly difficult. It has challenged parts of my identity and brought up fears about visibility, success and what it means to run a business in today’s world.

But silence has a way of stripping away the “shoulds” and bringing you back to what feels true.

One of the things I’m feeling especially grateful for is that all of our parents now live locally. Life moves so quickly, and it’s easy to believe we’ll always have another opportunity to spend time with the people we love. This summer, I want to make those moments a priority. Slow mornings, shared meals, conversations without looking at the clock.

That feels like a different kind of success.

The retreat also reminded me of something else that feels deeply important: the power of simply being alone.

Not lonely.

Not isolated.

Just present with yourself.

It’s something so many of us avoid because the silence can feel unfamiliar. But within that silence is where so much clarity lives.

With that in mind, I’d love to offer something over the summer.

Rather than filling my diary with workshops or classes, I’ll be opening the studio on selected dates simply as a quiet space to sit. No agenda. No teaching. No expectation.

Just a peaceful place where you can come, spend some time with yourself, breathe, reflect and enjoy the gift of stillness.

I’ll share these dates in the Cactus WhatsApp community over the coming weeks.

Not already a member - drop me a message.

If this retreat taught me anything, it’s that we don’t always need more information, more doing or more productivity.

Sometimes we simply need less noise.

Because when everything else becomes quiet, we finally have the chance to hear ourselves.

And often, that’s exactly where the answers have been waiting all along.

Have the most beautiful summer🙏